Manqué in the Mirror

 “Imposter!” she shrieks silently shaking

with a startling violence.  I step back. 

She glares so intently, I see the whites 

of her eyes, striking against the red flush

of just ire and judgement staining her face.

I stand, stalled in mid-step, shielding myself.

“I-I-I,” I start to stutter.  The fear 

stealing my breath as I struggle to face

her, now a manqué woman in the storm.

All raging, swirling, emanating from

this familiar figure.  I feel

it again skittering across my skin. 

“I-I-I,” she mimics, mocking, mining

my core leaving me shivering.  Heartbeat

roaring red torrents on remote shores of

reason.  I cling, choking breath after breath.

The world wavers as salt water breaks free.

And yet I am unyielding.  I believe.

I have felt overshadowed, senses doomed

as I have shrank away from the success,

fuelling her fraud fascination – “You will

be found out. Faker!”, scorn slaking her wrath.

I draw myself up, body still shaking.

Facing her, I see her shimmer and dim

a fraction.  I glimpse another just seen.

I remember again.  I am enough.

I am a super woman, kind and brave.

I say it out loud, holding her gaze now.

I am capable.  I earned my success.

I say it out loud, confidence growing.

I remember again.  I am enough.

Now she is fearful, a fading vision.

I raise my hand in farewell. She copies.

Realisation reflected in the light.

“Thank you,” I mutter to my frenemy;

a shadow.  Another raises her hand.

As I touch the glass, I see my true self. 

if you want to see more of Caroline’s work, please follow her Instagram @BlueGirlPoetry.