WAKING UP SAD
I.
you can do it you're amazing
you can do it you are living life
and you can do it I'm proud of
you and you can do it you
have so much to give you can
do it I am proud of you I am so
proud of you you can do it
you can do it you can do it you're amazing and you can
do it you
II.
waking up sad I tell myself to
try
smile and laugh through the
urge to cry
I can move from my bed to
the warmth of the shower
and then I stay under there
for hour after hour
realising with a toxic power
that I can't do shit
but
I know there's more
I see all the strength that I
give
and I yearn to let myself
forgive
but my trauma is made of steel
it blocks out my appeals and
that excitement, it flits,
twists into a crushing abyss —
needing to be gooder than
great
suffocation keeps me up late
and
I can't breathe and it hurts to
laugh
I’m stuck listing all I lack
I move from the bed to the
cold shower
no matter how much water a
seed that will never flower
and
instead I’ll spiral, a sickening
cycle,
forcing me to submit, forcing
me to commit,
forcing me to admit
that I am totally unfit
and become cripplingly aware
that I can't do shit
III.
you are sunshine to me
the only thing that matters
growing through the grass
with a stem that shakes and
shatters.
remember you are enough
a girl whose words are broken
too much weight in your heart
to never let it open
it loves and loves and loves
it weeps with pain and joy
growing through the dirt each
day
expanding in the void
remember when you breathe
that it flows from me to you.
remember you are sunshine,
dandelion and dew.
yalla
take a deep breath in
and let it cleanse your soul,
despite the odds and pain
your heart is made of gold.