supportive female networks and social media

There are many women out there who are stoking the feminist fires, who are using their platforms, their voice and their space in the spotlight to raise awareness.  Take Emma Watson.  Ever since she strode onto our screens as Hermione Grainger, she has been a force to be reckoned with; showing that girls and young women can have a strong voice, can be recognised and respected for their skills and talent, and that they can be loved by their counterparts without a sexual expectation.  As a character, Hermione Grainger has become a heroine to many over the last twenty years and we have seen many other strong female characters follow in her wake. 

What about Jameela Jamil? A woman who is a tireless champion for the worth of women who should be seen for who they are, not what they look like.  As an activist, Jamil is responsive to the mood in social media circles towards women and their weight and uses these very platforms to speak openly about it.  Her Instagram account ‘I Weigh’ has 346,000 followers at the time of writing and she is not alone in promoting female body positivity through social media. Alesha Dixon is another homegrown hero who fights for equality as a woman of colour.  Dixon is all about recognising and celebrating the power that lies within you as an individual and fostering this power through self-belief.  Her fictional character Aurora Beam was created because we all love a good superhero story (look at the enduring popularity of Marvel for example), but as Dixon states, there is “a lack of female superheroes and an imbalance that still needs to be addressed”. Dixon heralds a future starting now where we are act as our own newspaper using social media platforms to have our say, showcase our individualism, and celebrate the very things that make us unique. 

But here’s the thing: Does it make a difference?  Let me explain what I mean a little more. Social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter in particular can elevate an individual to the stratosphere of celebrity and then back into the depths of non-identity in the time it takes me to cook a hot meal. Whilst these women and many more like them are the cogs in the machine of progress for equality and inclusion for womenkind, they are not the women who get me through my every day, who help me gain perspective, who give me courage and wisdom and encourage my self-belief. No, for those women, those heroines of the every day, I am fortunate that I don’t have to reach to the stratospheres for support. 

Having spoken to some of the important women in my life, I note that things have changed through the generations, but the feeling of sisterhood has been the ever-present life support of these relationships. For my Nana, it wasn’t her girlfriends that she turned to when she’d had a rough day at work, or at home with her three young children, or in times of crisis. For her, it was all about her sisters and sisters-in-law.  Here was a group of women who supported each other in different ways, but were unfailing in that support.  My Nana said she could speak to her oldest sister about work and her second oldest sister about affairs of the heart, but she never discussed any problems, worries, doubts or fears with her colleagues or friends, it just wasn’t accepted or expected. A young colleague I spoke with at work felt that she was supported by an online Instagram community in terms of her writing work, which made her feel motivated and encouraged self-belief. In this particular sphere of her life, other people whom she had never met, particularly women, were having a direct influence through social media, even if they weren’t directly interacting with her. However, it was her Mum and the friends she could count on one hand that were her life support. Together they had a close network and this meant that there was no issue too big or too small that couldn’t be discussed with one of these women. 

For me, having friends has been like a tricky hostage situation where you’ve got to build enough trust to let someone get close enough to see your vulnerability, your mess, your weaknesses and not bolt for the door.  My friends, and by this I mean those women I could call anytime with anything, are very few and yet the support they give me cannot really be measured. The knowledge that there are women out there who are going through their own lives with all its ups and downs and yet still have the love, empathy, courage and kindness to support you through yours is really quite remarkable.  It’s like wearing another layer of armour against not only the trials of life itself, but self-destruction. My Nana has been a stalwart supporter of my life thus far, pushing me always to seek happiness, love and a self-belief that is strong enough to weather the doubts.  ‘Stop worrying about what other people think of you,’ is one of her most common pieces of advice.  She has taught me to look for the positive in the bleakest of situations and that it’s important to keep moving forward. This has only been bolstered by the never-ending stream of content available through social media that I can choose to access or follow, but I pay far more attention to her, my sisters and my close friends, then to what celebrities are sharing, however good and well-intentioned their message. It matters more.

This is what lies at the heart of it all.  It is important to use social media as a vehicle for feminism, for empowering and encouraging women as well as allowing us all to be part of the global conversation.  It is important for celebrities to use these platforms to bring about change.  Women have been using the media throughout history to get the female voice heard in the face of the over-arching patriarchy of society, and this has wrought change despite a resistance so embedded in the collective psyche of the male-dominated populous. However, for every woman that stands up in the spotlight, there are a few more in her corner standing up for her.  You don’t have to look to the stratospheres to seek it out. Life support starts with those women around you in your closest circles, even if there is just one who is ready to stand by you.   Reach as high as you dare to and support the important women in your life to do the same.